Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Your Constitutional Right to Drive (And Others You Didn't Know About)

Hey, guess what? Citizens of the Empire may have a few more constitutional rights than they realize. At least some of them(17%) believe that the US Constitution gives them the right to drive a car, and a higher percentage (21%) think that they have a constitutional right to own a pet. Less than 1% could name the actual five protected rights: freedom of speech, religion, the press, assembly and to petition the government. On the other hand, 20% could name Bart, Homer, and three other members of the Simpson family. Chaos supposes this is why citizens have so willingly acquiesced in the current government's theft of rights: too much tv. Many serious events are now scheduled to occur in the next few years, only a few of which have been touched upon here. The somnolent citizenry is utterly unequipped to even understand them, much less to take action. As one commentator stated, "don't get too far away from the chairs, you don't know when the music is going to stop."


Anonymous said...

Too much tv, eh? I don't suppose a TiVo would come into play anywhere in that equation, would it? I would've let the Simpsons alone, myself, perhaps using a more modern evil, like Paris Hilton or reality tv.


Chaos said...

Chaos does not believe that television in itself is evil, but the substitution of sedentary brainsucking pursuits over such activities as reading, writing, hiking, diving is what has toasted the brains of the citizenry (along with a willful embrace of stupid, of course).

Lord Just Mandier said...

Yet they have the gall to call their spy group the central INTELLIGENCE agency!


Lord Just Mandier
Directat Javeth Nathux
Lord Privy Seal of Hell
Contributor to
The Dis Brimstone-Daily Pitchfork

Chaos said...

Always nice to hear the underworld's perspective on current events...