Thursday, February 22, 2007

An Enlightened Citizenry Offers Solutions to the Mountain of Shame

Well, here they are,published in the local rag (really), in all their ignorant glory, for your amusement (Chaos has just about run out of laughs, between this and all the coverage in the MSM of a certain celebrity's death and her fatal refrigerator...):

Solution One:

"Instead of spraying more of our precious drinking aquifer water, why not spray the whole accursed mountain of burning mulch with concrete?

It would be wise to put to use several concrete conveyers and long-armed track spraying machines so they will spew wet concrete instead of water.

Once the concrete dries and settles with its own heavy weight, such an undertaking will both smother and extinguish the whole mess of burning mulch for good. Then, the Helotes mulch fire will be history."

Oh, concrete just takes so long to dry, and we have to get back to our shopping! Oh, wait, this guy has a better idea:

"What's this? Millions of dollars ... millions of gallons of water ... contaminating the aquifer ... weeks and months to get rid of the smoldering mulch pile?

I've got a very simple, fast and low-cost solution. Blow it up! They do it to buildings, casinos and mountains with a few well-placed high-explosive charges in a split second.

Level it with explosives, sprinkle water on anything burning, then plow it under or haul it off. Shouldn't be more than an inch or so layer of mulch over the area after the explosion, which would be easily and quickly contained if there is any combustion.

A good Army demolition unit and a bunch of C4 explosive should do the job just right!"

Yes, nothing like good oldfashioned American ingenuity. Thank goodness for the astute citizens of this community.

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